Posted by wishingstar on May 27, 2007, at 0:29:58
As many of you know, I work as a counselor for kids/adolescents in an intensive in-home program (meaning very serious dysfunction). I have a work cell phone that I carry all the time because I'm on call to my kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Well, it rang for the first time tonight. It was a teen girl I've been working with for about three months (we only hold cases for 6 months then they go to outpatient). Cant really share any more details than that, but she was very upset and lots of little (and not so little) stuff building up this weekend.
My own adreneline and anxiety is through the roof right now. I want to say how I handled it and you all tell me what you think. I'm really flying by the seat of my pants with this job.. everything I do is a complete guess, not based on any education or training.
I asked her what was going on. I used my most concerned voice. I stated a few times that she sounds overwhelmed by a few things happening and not very supported at home with it. She didnt really talk much about any of the things.. the questions I asked were mostly just clarifying questions, because what else could I say? Not sure. Asked her how she plans to handle tomorrow. Tried to get her to make a plan of what she'll do to keep busy but she wasnt really able to and I didnt really know what to suggest other than what she'd normally do anyway. Said shed rather not be alone and I asked about getting a friend to stay with her. She said "that'd work if I had real friends." Okay, she got me there. Knowing her friends, they wouldnt do it. I didnt say much to that and kind of let it go. I should have had another suggestion, but what? She apologized for calling and I reassured her several times that I'm glad she called and it's fine. Asked if she could promise she'd be safe and she agreed to call if she wasnt able to. Wasnt supposed to see her until Wed but decided to have lunch with her on Mon. (We spend a lot of time in the community since I see kids usually about 4 hours/wk). The agency is closed that day but doesnt matter.. no reason I cant do it anyway. She seemed genuinely glad I offered. I hope that was the right thing.
I guess I just feel like I should have had something more to say. I told her I wished I had magic answers. I know I cant fix it, but I just felt pretty clueless because all her points were correct (for ex, she said no she cant ask her parents for help because they wont do it. yep, shes right. huh.) Although she is getting a little better, I worry.. heck, I'm fairly sure.. its just because I'm around and she has someone listening.. not because shes learning better ways to cope or anything that will last after I disappear. I only have three more months with her then what? I have to teach her to cope by herself, but heck.. I dont even know how to cope with my own stuff!
I guess I'm just asking for reassurance. Or advice on what would be more helpful if it were you (but please be gentle, I'm feeling really shakey about all this). I hope this post doesnt make anyone feel weird, since its sort of "from the other side of the couch". I dont think most counselors are quite as crazy as I am. If I shouldnt have posted this, well..I cant delete it..but I do really apologize.
poster:wishingstar
thread:759739
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/759739.html