Posted by gazo on May 9, 2007, at 11:32:09
In reply to Re: ***suicide triggers*** » gazo, posted by LadyBug on May 9, 2007, at 11:23:47
thank you for understanding LB.. the line is thinner than you'd think. It happened so fast too. i don't really even know what stopped me.. i think i just didn't have the mental energy to just do it.
i even poured them all out in my hand. one movement that would have been it... it's a scary thought.
last night i kept myself doped up and hang out in chat for a while, even though i generally had no idea what was happening... except for Llurpsie's feet.
i wish i could find a copy of finding nemo... it always makes me smile somehow. it wouldn't have helped that night, but maybe generally.
i wish i could believe i deserved those things.. my T says the big thing we have to tackle first is along those lines. He doesn't deserve to get someone like me... he's such a nice guy. He says he thinks i can really change, but he hasn't run into how f*cked up i am yet... not the real bad parts anyway.
much love and peace
poster:gazo
thread:756897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/757096.html