Posted by Rigby on May 5, 2007, at 12:10:14
In reply to Re: ((Crushed)) » Rigby, posted by crushedout on May 5, 2007, at 10:05:18
Yeah, in a post above you parenthetically noted that you wanted to get to a place of forgiveness (again.)
Sounds like you're getting this out of your system and that maybe that's what needed to happen. So you're right--maybe her blogging has helped you release your anger and maybe that was just the trick to get you unstuck.
I finished therapy in November and I definitely had some anger issues around boundary violations with my therapist and the whole gaslighting issues you mention too (a lot of b.s.) When I finally said that she must, frankly, drive her husband crazy with her stuff, she smiled awkwardly and then, simply, apologized. She said that she felt so badly about all the boundary violations in my life that she could not believe and did not want to face the fact that she too was piling on. She felt awful realizing she did it and basically, for years just couldn't admit it. Finally she did. She was in denial and stubborn and ashamed. She was and is like the rest of us: human.
I definitely needed the validation and I got it--and it helped. You, unfortunately, won't get this. My therapist was/is flawed but yours sounds really out there.
It is extraordinarily frustrating to not be heard and understood by a person who has hurt you very badly. And it is even harder to somehow make your peace with this. It is a huge, huge letting go that possibly takes a lifetime if it is ever achieved.
In general my take away right now is that therapists are humans--flawed for sure and possibly more flawed than others because, heck, why would someone healthy choose *that* profession?? I say this quasi humorously but I also say it with a degree of skepticism. Despite the enormous help I received from therapy, I still see it as a very dark, deep, long rabbit hole that you may or may not get through. It is highly possible along the way that we can get stuck in a dependency trap that is very, very tough to get out of. Therapy, I think, can become its own addiction. And you are addicted to a process and to a person that may not be skilled enough or motivated enough or healthy enough themselves to help set you free.
Anyway, rambling a bit here but really glad that this negative may turn into a positive for you. You will know when you are done--you will feel it (or not feel it as it were.) And maybe someday you will be able to apply all you've learned in going through this to other areas of your life.
My guess is that you will.
poster:Rigby
thread:755132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756057.html