Posted by crushedout on May 5, 2007, at 10:05:18
In reply to Re: ((Crushed)), posted by Rigby on May 4, 2007, at 11:26:39
Thanks, Rigby.
I don't know that I ever got to the forgiveness part before--did I say that I had?
I do know that I wasn't angry at her. Not for a very, very long time. In that sense, I guess there was some forgiveness. I just thought that I didn't hate her, she didn't do it on purpose, and she really just deserves pity. Something like that.
But I think the anger is important, too, and it just took me a really long time to get to it. The blog helped because she puts her lame defenses out there for all the world to see, and that provoked my anger. It arose some kind of sleeping monster inside me that I didn't even know was there. I bet at some point I will get back to the point where I can just pity her, and not hate her, and know that she is just an EXTREMELY flawed person and a terrible therapist.
But I won't waste any energy on thinking about her and what she did to me because I will be past it.
I think getting angry is probably an important step in that process.
In some weird way, for me, I think this blog is a blessing (even though I agree with you that it's f'ed up for her to do). For one thing, it's made me realize that I'm not done with my work on this. For another, it makes me see what a loser she is and has shattered all my idealism of her. If she hopped into my bed, I seriously think I would not only kick her out, but I would scream, too. :)
poster:crushedout
thread:755132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756017.html