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Re: I've taken to taunting » Dinah

Posted by crushedout on May 2, 2007, at 13:47:30

In reply to Re: I've taken to taunting » crushedout, posted by Dinah on May 2, 2007, at 13:39:02


Thank you Dinah. You are totally right about the being connected to her part. And I appreciate your concern for my well-being.

(I liked the suggestion someone made earlier that maybe I should put a time limit on it on my interacting with her.)

Thank you for understanding my impulse to get involved having found the blog. It feels validating to know that many people would be tempted to do something similar to what I've done.

I have talked to my T about it and will continue to do so. She doesn't tell me not to do it--just tries to help me figure out what it's doing for me psychologically. My current T, btw, is really wonderful in so many ways, but the biggest way that she's wonderful is her boundaries. I feel very safe with her and can almost tell her anything at this point. Even though I have some transference issues with her, they are nowhere near as intense and I am able to cope with them pretty well. They are not debilitating. (Sorry that was an aside.)

I also like your suggestion (someone else made it) that maybe I report her for the blog. But I'm not sure that anything will happen because of it. My understanding from previous conversations on this board is that it's very hard to get a practitioner in trouble unless they've crossed some REALLY serious boundaries (i.e., had sex with a patient).

> My concern is that doing this is being connected to her, and being connected to her doesn't seem to be in your best interests.
>
> You've got a relationship going with her right now. Not a great relationship, but a relationship. Is that what you want? It seems like you spent a lot of time getting *out* of relationship with her.
>
> Very tempting, yes, and very understandable. You want her to understand so she won't hurt others. You probably want her to acknowledge how much she hurt you.
>
> I hate to say this, crushed ((((crushed)))), but I don't think it's going to work. She's not going to see how much she hurt you. She's armored in defenses and denial. Only censure from someone above her is going to get through to her at all, and maybe not even that.
>
> I think the message you're trying to send is probably not the message she's receiving. And I'm afraid you'll get hurt. Even more hurt.
>
> ((((crushed))))
>
> Can you talk to your current therapist about this?
>
> I think I'd have a very hard time not starting a dialogue with my therapist under these circumstances. I am very glad my therapist understands the responsibilities involved with a therapist being involved with the internet.
>
> Don't you think maybe she should be reported over her injudicious behavior? That would be a less intimate way to make your point.


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poster:crushedout thread:755132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/755203.html