Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: post-therapy follow-up [a relation]

Posted by michellemybell on April 19, 2007, at 22:51:12

In reply to post-therapy follow-up, posted by crushedout on April 19, 2007, at 14:23:00

WOW. You know..3 years ago a therapist ended the relationship with me because we had boundary issues, which were blamed on my of course. I would tell her she is inconsistant, and she would say "you are too, so it doesn't matter". She would tell me how she talks about me to her husband, and we would always email eachother, but then she would get mad at me for calling her or being needy. Eventually I became preoccupied with her, and we both didnt want to end treatment, so the clinic supervisor did. I was so disraught. And now, I CANT believe how I thought it was mostly my fault, and how i thought i couldnt live without her, and how i didnt know what an appropriate and caring therapist does. Well I was lucky enough to meet a great therapist who is calm, intelligent, caring, and had appropriate boundaries. And the only reason I stopped seeing him is because is internship was over. And our seperation went very smoothly, i remember telling him a month later over the phone, that it was the first "good"bye I had in a way. I can't believe how different my life is now, and was so lucky to get out the first therapy relationship alive! And so are you! Of course our experiences are different, but the things you said about her in this one post reminded me so much of her. I would have a very difficult time dealing with a blog from a therapist..i dont know any other therapist who does? However, this first therapist I had, loves the spot light, being on talk shows, dancing, singing opera, being known as the "favorite human sexuality" professor on campus. And about twice a year, it hurts to say, I still do look her up. But then I get to talk about it with a great therapist, and my esteem is better, and I realized that my first therapist doesnt reflect on things much, is too 'over the top' and self involved to haved cared appropriately for me in treatment, and has little insight. I think I used to confuse her passion and narccism, with care and interest. What your ex-t is doing, is so so so sad, but no matter how pathetic we may say her, it still hurts. I guess the goal is have support, to realize why you left, to keep away, and to avoid that sometimes great temptation to go back to her, or to deflate her tires. I did something similar to your 'hate mail' 2 years ago, by writing something negative about her on a site. well..since she is so 'interesting and popular' she got her students to stand up for her. I know she still cares about me, and thinks about me, and probably feels very guilty. What helps me is knowing she feels guilty at those times when I pass through her mind. Your relationship with you ex t has different elements, but i guess there has to be one or two thoughts that keep you grounded at these times..like finding the blog. If I found her blog 2 years ago I probably would have something similar to a panic attack, and be mia for a week. I think your doing great, and I'm glad you and your knew T are a good match! I've actually read some of your posts (perhaps) years ago, but can not recall that well, since this was a time where i was depressed and either in a rainstorm or a fog(i mean, i was stilling seeing her!), and I was always interested in reading what you wrote. And even in your silence or few words I was interested in how you were doing. I'm more or a 'lurker'--i think? I dont really post because i usually only used to come to this site when I was very very depressed. Maybe I'll post more, but I feel like I post in one long fragmented piece of work with many typos. And sometimes I find it hard to believe people will be interested. Sigh. I look forward to hearing about you!


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:michellemybell thread:751291
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/751478.html