Posted by Daisym on April 19, 2007, at 0:07:08
In reply to Re: Group Update---looooong coffee break ;) » Daisym, posted by zenhussy on April 18, 2007, at 19:43:13
Have things changed? Hmmm - we've had two meetings since I said what I said. I think my own therapist was even a little worried about me before the last group, he said, "thinks might feel awkward. It is OK. Everyone will just be trying really hard to reach you." Fortunately there were only two of us and we were both completely a mess - the poor group therapist didn't know quite what to do. But it was OK - tears and tissues all around about mom stuff.
Last night was harder since there were more of us. One person elected to try and work on feeling her feelings while telling a story and I shared (pushed?) some of the techniques I've used. It was good to help, but interestingly, while she said she couldn't feel too much, *I* could feel enormous amounts of anxiety and fear for her and from her. I finally HAD to say, "I need to give you some of your own anxiety to hold" and she said she could feel it. It was very weird to be someone's holding tank. Her story triggered off all kinds of stuff for me - but there was no time to share it so I tried to squash it.
Had a flashback on the way home, on the freeway. That was scary. And then nightmares and no sleep. I went into therapy in pieces - an agitated, angry mess. And the tears - lots and lots of them. I guess they should have been cried last night. Ug. This is so painful.
My therapist said I have to protect myself from absorbing the feelings in the room when they don't all belong to me. But he also said it was the risk of connecting and now i need to know how to process the trigges. Ug, Ug. Painful too.
What did I say I wanted? Invisible might have been better.
poster:Daisym
thread:745674
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/751249.html