Posted by wishingstar on April 3, 2007, at 12:56:15
Does anyone ever feel like therapy is just a time to tell your therapist what you've figured out on your own? To just reiterate it for someone else and get them to understand? .... As opposed to figuring out and fixing and working towards things actually in therapy?
I saw Ginny today. It went well I guess. But I dont feel like anything much happens when I'm there or as a result of the conversations we have. I do a lot of reading and thinking on my own, often things that get brought up just by real life and not directly related to anything I've done in therapy.. and come to my own insights.. and pass them on to her. Then we talk about the insights in a way that helps her get where I'm coming from. But it doesnt usually necessairly help me see it any more clearly or understand anything better. Usually by that point I've made sense of it in my head already. Sometimes she'll challenge things that arent the most rational but I'm always already aware that it's not rational... but logic and emotions dont always run together.
The thing I hate about once a week therapy is that its constant crisis management for me. There are things that I feel like I dont have "all figured out" in my head logically.. and things that run pretty deeply have a lot of hurt behind them (like self esteem issues, for one).. but we never have time to get to that stuff because we're in a constant state of managing the latest crisis or dealing with the latest "symptom" of my issues.. talking about the specific way it has more recently played out. I dont think I'd feel good going to therapy and NOT talking about those things though because they do feel very urgent and important in the moment... but we can go on doing crisis management forever and never get anywhere. And I can go on reading and coming to great insights and undetstandings of why I am like I am, and keep passing them on to her, but in the end... who cares? I'm stuck with the same problems.. I just understand them better.
I dont think this is just an issue with the Ginny in particular. I dont think switching to someone new would help. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for regular old once-a-week therapy? It just doesnt do a lot for me. I dont know.
Anyone else ever feel this way? Or have any thoughts?