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Re: is therapy really useful?

Posted by wishingstar on April 3, 2007, at 22:01:37

In reply to Re: is therapy really useful?, posted by Daisym on April 3, 2007, at 15:28:25

Wow, lots of things to comment on.. I'll try to make this follow some logical order.

I guess I think that I'm the type of person who would be thinking and processing a lot on my own, even if I wasnt in therapy. I really enjoy being introspective and trying to understand myself.. sometimes to the point I wish I could just stop trying to "get it" and feel things and live. Very often the insights and connections I make between sessions are sparked not by anything that happened in session, but by something I read, something someone said, something I experienced.. etc. Then I go back to therapy and report them.. talk about what they mean cognitively.. and thats that. I guess the lesson is that I need to force myself to take it further, be more real, say more emotional things... but I truly dont feel like I know how a lot of the time. I know there's emotion buried in it, but I dont know how to verbalize it or mention it in the flow of therapy. I know understanding is the first step, but I've been in therapy on and off for about 8 years, and I feel like I have lots of understanding to spare. All it seems to do is make me realize how deep in all this I am and make me feel more hopeless.

Daisy, your post in particular gives me a lot to think about. Perhaps I do need to stop bringing up the weekly events. It would definitely help me to use some real-life friends to vent those issues, but the problem is that I dont have any currently. I isolate quite a bit.. that's my fault of course, but I'm not sure I'm able to stop it quite yet.. and it limits the talking and sharing I do outside therapy. The crisis of the moment always feels so important and so pressing, I dont think I'd feel good or feel heard if I left without ever mentioning it. But yes, that means the "real issues" get pushed aside week after week. I cant have it both ways. I think that's why I liked twice a week so much. There generally isnt enough crisis in one week to fill 2 hours.. but one hour, yes. Sometimes (often) the small crises have triggered much bigger issues, and often I'm even aware of what they are.. but after I tell the story, we seem to get lost in talking about it on a more surface level. I could talk to Ginny about that I guess, but I dont think either of us knows how to fix it. I think it's really my responsibility.. but I dont know how!

I've started reading a DBT book.. I'm trying to focus on the "distress tolerance" skills. I think I'm in dire need of some of those. Maybe it'd help me sort out what's really "therapy important" from just passing everyday nastiness.



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