Posted by sunnydays on February 17, 2007, at 19:11:44
In reply to Re: why don't friends understand? » sunnydays, posted by madeline on February 17, 2007, at 7:13:20
> I think people would understand our attachments to our therapists if they knew what the nature of that relationsip really was.
*** Yeah. So many people never have a really intense relationship like it, I think.
>
> But then I realized that the attachment I felt to him was one that I should have felt with my parents. They may have fed me and gave me shelter, but I never got the emotional nurturing, safety or care that is our birthright as human beings.**** Yeah, but I struggle with wondering if even though my parents didn't give it to me, is it alright to expect my T to give it to me? I mean, I pay him, but I feel like money could never ever be enough to thank him for the help he has given me. I just try as hard as I can and hope that seeing me grow (and I have grown and changed sooo so much since being in therapy) is enough of a reward for him.
>
> For some people, I think getting that kind of care from our therapist is an essential part of our recovery as it helps us move towards independence.**** Definitely. I can't believe the wonderful changes I have made in my life since starting therapy. I am so grateful for the opportunity.
>
> No one would begrudge a child missing a parent during a prolonged abscence, but they think that as adults we shouldn't need that anymore.**** Exactly. I feel so much like a child in that regard. I cried last session because I didn't want to leave. He was so nice and told me it was ok to cry and let me cry even though we were running out of time. I was trying so hard not to because I thought I had to go, but he just kept saying it was ok to cry, to let myself cry, and I did.
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> But the fact is we do need it and it hurts when it is not there.**** It hurts so much.
>
> Times like this are a good time to develop the skills to nurture yourself.
>
**** Yeah, I try. I write a lot too.> Those skills seem to be unique to the person.
> Some things that really helped me though, was to identify what it would take to make me feel safe right at that time, making myself feel as physically comfortable as I could, and just allowing myself to miss my T.**** Maybe that would help. I resist missing him as much as possible. I fight this attachment so much, but sometimes it's so hard. I'm thinking maybe I should just allow it.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:733403
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/733683.html