Posted by wishingstar on February 14, 2007, at 11:22:39
In reply to Disappointing your T, posted by peddidle on February 14, 2007, at 0:18:37
Definitely! I do have that fear... although I dont think its something I've ever verbalized to anyone before. I'm always afraid that when I dont improve (or get worse, as I have been recently) that my T is going to start feeling ineffective. Sometimes I'll even say specific things for the single purpose of reassuring her. I dont think shes ineffective at all (i think shes great!), but I fear she'll feel that way.
I think for me, it comes down to my own insecurities because I know if I were her, thats how *I* would feel. It isnt rational, but I tend to feel worthless and hate myself a lot in general, so thats where my mind would go. But I forget that not everyone is like that and she probably doesnt have the same issue. Therapists have experience seperating their work from their own personal emotions, and I think if a T was to get so wrapped up in a case that they were feeling that badly about it, then they need to check themselves and how involved theyre letting themselves get. Of course we all want our Ts to think of us all the time, care, etc, but there has to be some distance on their part or else theres just no way a person could be a therapist - listening to that many distraught, hurting people every day.
I try to remind myself that if it got that out of hand and my T felt like she couldnt help me, I think she would tell me. And the fact that it hasnt happened means she feels like she can handle it. Its hard not to worry about the other person when we're in such an intense emotional (one-sided) relationship like therapy is, but I do think they can handle themselves pretty well. I guess you get good at it over time.
Dont really have any advice I guess, except that this may be a good thing to mention to your T one day if you are able to. I've done that in the past with an old T and her reassurance did help.
poster:wishingstar
thread:732627
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/732712.html