Posted by peddidle on February 3, 2007, at 23:43:58
In reply to Re: Why can't I talk? (long...what else is new?) » peddidle, posted by wishingstar on February 3, 2007, at 21:22:57
> Pediddle, I'm sorry if this post is a little odd, I'm very tired and a bit confused tonight, but anyway...
>
> I dont think I have much to add about the benefits of writing things down, but I do the exact same thing and I agree with what everyone else posted. I'd recommend trying it. If you do it once and hate it, you dont have to do it again.
>
> Part of my problem though is that I'll write something, bring it, and then never give it to my T. I had a conversation about a month ago with her about how hard it is to talk, writing, etc, and asked her if she'd please ask me at the beginning of every session if I have anything to give her (a paper). That makes it a little harder for me to keep it in my purse.. it'd require lying instead of just pretending it isnt there.**That would be good for me. I am an awful liar, and she can always tell when I'm bs-ing her.
One of my problems is "how the heck do I barge in and hand her this paper"? But her asking has solved that. Admittedly, it's been about a month and I never did bring anything until just last session (and now I have to face the results on tues... I gave it to her at the end). But somehow just having her ask has helped me open up. She has also started asking directly at the beginning of sessions if there is anything I need to talk about, because I have trouble bringing things up myself out of the blue.
**I have trouble bringing things up out of the blue, too. I just don't know if or when it's the right time to bring something new up. I'm sure I would have an equally hard time just randomly handing her a piece of paper.
Often she'll also ask towards the end of the session or at the beginning of the next if there was anything else I wanted to say on that topic. It helps - it's like her holding up a stop sign and saying "ok, wait - what else?" and it stops me from just letting the conversation flow past something that was important. She's happy to ask those things and didnt seem to be put off at all by me asking. I dont know if itd help you or not, but maybe it's worth a try? If nothing else, a conversation about the very issue you're writing about here (it being hard to talk and what you can do to fix that) might bring up some interesting things. Or maybe you've already done that - I apologize if that's the case.
**No need to apologize. :) It sounds like you have a good system set up with your T. Maybe I should mention some of these things to her. I know she would be willing to try anything that would help me open up.
>
> Another thing my T said she'd be fine with was if I called the night before my session (or morning of) and left a message just telling her in a few sentences if something had happened, something I needed to talk about, etc. For me, talking to voicemail isnt too difficult, so it helps. It's certainly nervewracking after, knowing the message is there and she'll get it, but once you do it there's no getting out of it and in my experience, I've always been glad I did it (even if it was uncomfortable). It truly does get easier the more you do it. You might just have to go against everything that feels safe and secure once and just do it, without allowing yourself to stop and think. That's what I do.**My T doesn't really have voicemail that's just her's, because I see her in my college's counseling center. I'm pretty sure she has another office where she has voicemail... I have to find a way to get her to mention it to me. I could email her though. I'm that way too, where I have to just do something (like leaving a voicemail or sending an email), because then I know it's done and there's no getting out of it. I think you're right, I'm going to have to go against everything that feels safe and secure and just do it.
>
> Good luck. I know you can do this.**Thank you. It's so sweet that you have faith in me, even though you don't know me. Thank you, again.
poster:peddidle
thread:728859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729510.html