Posted by muffled on January 11, 2007, at 15:50:54
In reply to Re: You have lots of wonderfulness inside you » Llurpsie_noodle, posted by littleone on January 11, 2007, at 14:16:56
Sorry LL not meaning to mess with your thread, but this seemed to fit with it.......
So feel free to tell me to piss off if I am annoying you! :)
So:
My question is. I have disconnected from my mother as stated earlier. Not sure exactly when this happened, but long ago.
As recently as a year or so ago, I did feel a desire to help my Mom as I was realizing that she DID have probs.(guess I figgered this thru my own T somehow). So I mentioned to Dad, sisters as how she might be depressed or something etc etc. I pushed it a bit, but not much. I did not deal at all w/my Mom personally.
No action seems to have been taken, but I guess there is awareness within the family now anyways.
Now, now I just am completely disconnected. I feel I did what I cared to do on her behalf.
I COULD do more. I could try and connect w/her. I think it would make her happy. I don't think she's ever really had that and craves it from anyone. I think she got lots of love inside, she just f*cked up for some reason.
So. Now I wondering, am I bad cuz I DON'T try to help my MOm? Am I being selfish? I AM being safe, trying to keep myself safe from being hurt. Cuz I KNOW it will be one way. I can give to her, but I doubt she would be able to give anything back. She proly would get all mushy and I don't do emots.
On the one hand I've walked away, but now reading this thread I wonder, mebbe I should'nt have, I am being selfish....
She's old, and not so well....
Sh*t anyways.
Sorry so long.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:720964
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/721404.html