Posted by sunnydays on January 5, 2007, at 21:44:40
In reply to freaking out.. therapist story--long..trigger, posted by youngaddict on January 5, 2007, at 16:35:04
> hey
> im new here not sure if i did the trigger thing right.**** Looks good to me! All you have to do is put the word in if you think what you write may be hard for other people to read. Sometimes if it's a specific type of trigger like sexual trigger or self-injury (SI) trigger or abuse trigger, people will put what kind it is, but that's not completely necessary.
>
> i need to vent. i have been having difficulties with my T recently because i am starting to become obsessed with her and shes cery professional and i know nothing about her except what i have read on the internet.. i mean i literally knew NOTHING.**** Wow. Well, you know what kind of a person she is based on her interactions with you. You know what kinds of clothes she wears to work, how she chooses to decorate her office, how she wears her hair, how she talks, how she arranges her body. Those kinds of things can tell you a lot more about a person than knowing if she has kids or where her house is or where she went on her last vacation. Until my T and I had been seeing each other for a few months I didn't know anything about him either. He's pretty loose with telling me little things, like that he has kids or telling me a story about his kids or his life if he thinks it's relevant to my therapy, but he doesn't do it often, and I don't find it necessary. And yes, I'm still obsessed with him. I sometimes think I live for those little hints he drops in sessions. But that's perfectly normal, as is Googling a T, I think, as long as you don't call her house or things like that. I'm thinking a "What About Bob?" moment, if you've seen that movie. Being curious is perfectly normal, although it certainly doesn't mean she has to tell you more if she has strict boundaries. And that can be good too if someone's never had strict boundaries before, to see them modeled. It helps me sometimes (he goes through times when he says very little about himself, and it does help because he does it when I really need it).
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> so shes very professional but also very good. shes very observant and wise and i feel like she knows me. but then she does something stupid or won't catch something i am trying to say but can't and it ticks me off.**** Yeah, it's very unfortunate T's aren't mindreaders. It sounds like yours is mostly good though. Try to bring up the things that bother you - it always helps so much with my T because he tries to fix it. It's really really hard to do, but it can help so much. Most of the time he thought nothing of what he did and didn't see how much it bothered or affected me, or he doesn't realize he isn't picking up on something. If they knew to do something better they would! Unfortunately, we sometimes have to help them. But I know how deeply hard it can be to bring it up.
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> i have been going 3 times a week but now with insurance i only get 60 sessions a year so i need to cut back because i can't afford to have to pay for it. so she suggests she only sees me once next week and it doesn't mean she can't ever see me twice but her schedule it booked up next week and she doesn't think we should do three times a week unless i need to. ok??? So now i am cutting abck from three to one, already a HUGE deal when she tells me she can't see me at my normal time which meant she gave it AWAY when it was MY time. and then she says she doesn't know when but nexy friday sometime and she will have to call but to let her write it down cause otherwise she will forget>..and then says if for some reason she forgets to call to call her**** It happens some time. It might not mean she gave away your spot, she might be taking the day or that time off and not want to tell you. My T tends to forget things like calling me very easily too. I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally. Their scheduling can be very tricky. But it is hard and I hope she remembers. And going from three to one will be hard, but she seems to think you are strong enough to do it. Who knows? Maybe it will turn out to be an experience that brings something up you never expected. Those can be good therapy moments, but they can also be hard.
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> WTF???????? She has totally shot me down, kicked my pieces and thrown them away because she has totally let me know she doesn't think about me, i am not important or messed up enough for her to leave her professional and her personal completely seperate....
>**** Well, my T has forgotten me, and it didn't mean he didn't care, it just meant he can be a little disorganized and truly forgot. Try not to take it personally, although I know it's hard.
> i am sure this has some "mother" thing going on here, but i am freaking out... should i call her and ask her if i can come earlier to keep me in mind if someone cancels???
>**** I think that would be a good thing to do if you're freaking out. At least it will remind her of you, and let her know the change may have been too abrupt. Good luck.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:719662
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/719714.html