Posted by mair on December 31, 2006, at 14:20:05
In reply to Re: My T just called me » mair, posted by Dinah on December 31, 2006, at 10:52:22
There's a little history here. She was supposed to have her mastectomy right after Thanksgiving. I saw her on the Thursday before that and was supposed to see her again on Tuesday. When I left her office on that Thursday I felt good about things; she seemed upbeat and I felt that maybe with 3 sessions in a row, we were getting back on track. I got home from work Friday night and she had left a message on my answering machine informing me that her surgery had been suddenly moved up to Monday (before T-giving) and that she wouldn't then see me for a few weeks.
This was definitely my lowest period throughout this whole ordeal. I was concerned that her surgery had been moved up because it had suddenly become necessary to operate quickly; I felt so awful about what was happening to her because I assumed that she had just gotten bad news just when she had seemed so positive the day before. And I didn't feel that I could call her over the weekend and certainly not once she had her surgery. I was pretty much of a mess for days and I had no where to go with that worry.
Once we met again, I found out that her surgery was changed simply because the surgeon had a cancellation. It made tons of sense for her to change the date. She was able to reach most of her patients so she could have a conversation with them about why the date was changed. Her whole focus was just letting people know as soon as possible. Unfortunately it never occurred to her that someone (me) might read so much more into her voice mail message. Once she saw things from my perspective, she also could see why I didn't feel I could call her (what if it really was bad news?).
Being a person with a very positive outlook, she of course told me that my worry was a good thing since it proved I wasn't as detached as I usually think I am. But she also felt very bad that she had played such an active role in my heightened anxiety. I'm sure that's why she called me this morning - and it is nice that she had me in mind.