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i Can't Find A T - so much FEAR PAIN now

Posted by kerria on December 20, 2006, at 21:46:24

In reply to Re: Terminated from t suddenly :( » sunnydays, posted by kerria on December 16, 2006, at 22:19:52

Since i was terminated from t -
i called the Ts whose names i was given- no one can take me.

Today at work a part - not the work part cried in front of everyone- they asked her why she was crying and she said
"I'm always late" "I'm always late" tears
and couldn't stop crying. It was a surprise to me too what she said but i realized that it's true and i couldn't stop crying. :(

There was a dr's appt and we were afraid of losing track of the time and just Lost it completely at work. Now they know how crazy i am.

My T that i went to emailed today when i came home after my h yelled at me for ? being self-willed and not listening to anyone, negative things about myself and parts i can't change-
T said i could see him again and now i'm too afraid. Too afraid i'' be late- i'm so afariad- i lost all opportunities for being late- and i can't help it. i can cry forever- i still can't help it at all. tears.

i hate it when everyone is so angry with things i do that i can't help. i feel so hurt that the T terminated me. i can't go there - to that place- i'm too afraid i will be late.

tears . i'm so broken- i can never go to t- i'm too afraid. tears.i need a T so badly, i'm so afraid because i was blamed for being late when i couldn't help it. Everything is so painful and out of control. tears, i don't have a wat to get out of it. tears.

Everything is so hard.

Some one is calling me and harrassing me on the phone- i called telephone co to complain- i think it's the thief who broke my car window and stole my purse while at work. Everything is so wrong- i called 'call trace,' *57 i hope it's not much money- h will be so mad- but i had to do something- they say obsenities.

everything is so hard and i'm afraid - too aafraid to see T , afraid i'll be late. tears. It's so terrible to not be in control and need a T.
i feel so wounded . no one cared to understand and help and i struggle so much- i finally lost it at work.

i get tthis scared face on and everyone will say "What's wrong?" that sees me and if i look in the mirror i'm so shocked and afraid that i look so scared- it's not me- i'm so afraid. now i lost it at work, have no T who will take me AND am too afraid to see my T from before and can't go because i'm too afraid i will be late. tears i'm always late. i'm always late.

Tears,
kerria - so sad because i lost all opportunities, and no one will help me. tears.


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poster:kerria thread:714321
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/715334.html