Posted by B2chica on December 13, 2006, at 11:55:36
In reply to Re: OB/GYN disclosure of SA **trigger** » B2chica, posted by sunnydays on December 13, 2006, at 11:27:26
i think i told her, but she never really said anything about it. and even though she doesn't know all about my 'memories' she's pretty supportive. honestly i only see her about once a month (all i can really afford right now) and i was hoping to not even get into any of this again. but i had too because of the anxiety my issues and labor/delivery were causing me. and i'm glad she has the general idea of what happened.
but i don't see her again until the first week in jan. which is what...three weeks away i think. i should almost try to see her sooner, but with the baby and holidays, we REALLY just don't have the money.
if it gets bad enough i'm sure i'll go.but sometimes it's just the little things that really make me feel lousy. i wish i could tell my DH, i honestly think that he would be supportive and understanding, and it may be good for me, but i truly don't think it's good for him. plus he's big on family and would tell his and i'm still so ashamed (h@ll i didn't even admit to myself about this until the last few years) that i can't stand others knowing this. and then his family would treat my family different and then they would want to know why, then they'd know...and i just Don't want that....
if i lived far away from my family and had little contact i'd do it, but they're too close. it just makes me want to climb the walls just thinking about them finding out. i can't confront anyone right now.
i can't deal with that. Especially not when i'm due in 1 month...NOT the time!thank you very much for your kind words and support. i really need them.
thanks
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:713238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/713256.html