Posted by muffled on December 1, 2006, at 11:19:28
In reply to What I told (**some child abuse trggers**), posted by Lindenblüte on December 1, 2006, at 10:55:53
Sorry Li :-(
You really have a seriously dysfunctional family.
But really, it produced YOU, mebbe you got baggage aplenty, but you are SUCH an amazing person. I think you have SO much to give to this world.
"Somewhat disconnected emotionally from the words that come out of my mouth". No kidding!!!!! You are an encyclopedia of scientific info bout your dx, your body language etc. I read some of your posts and wonder why I don't know this stuff bout myself......But then I goto thinking, ahhhhhh, this is all a part of Li's defense system. She hides behind 'knowledge', she is hyper vigilant of all incomming info, so that she can process it all, and make the safest descions on what to do. ALL info must be noted and processsed for maximum safety.
It must be hard to be SO vigilant. I think I gone the opposite way, lol, I miss everything!!! I in a sphere. LOL.
But I understood alot of what you said.
However I DO NOT understand about how it is that you MUST deal with your mother????? What if you don't have a mother? What if (like mine), they are rather disconnected. I think my mom dissociates ALOT. So there would be no point in talking to her. I think my mom did the best she could given her mental status etc. I don't think I ever felt unloved. But from what my sis tells me, my ma didn't really care FOR us much. She loved us I think, but was very disconnected. This info all comes from my siister as I don't remember my childhood.
So I dunno bout this obsession w/Mom thing? I guess if you want to heal your realationship with her specifically, then that makes sense. IF she is mentally capable of dealing with it.... But not needed in the scheme of your general healing.
This is long winded. Sorry.
Take care Li.
You ARE having emotions, just careful ones. I think you doing a good job.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:709219
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/709340.html