Posted by TherapyGirl on November 27, 2006, at 17:24:19
In reply to im still around, posted by wishingstar on November 27, 2006, at 16:43:25
Good to hear from you again, WS. I've been thinking about you lots and hoping you were doing okay.
It sounds like you're doing the best you can with the current situation and that's something to be proud of. I'm sorry you had to cut back on the lithium when it seemed to be helping the depression. I'll be interested in what your pdoc says tomorrow.
About your question -- part of it was just time. It just took time for me to give up the notion that crazy T was EVER going to do right by me and it took time to let go of my anger towards her. It really helped to not have laid eyes on her since all this happened. Even today, I don't know what I'd say if I actually saw her. But mostly I pretend that she doesn't exist.
I did send her the letter with the bill from the city for "escorting" me to the hospital. I got a lot of my stuff down in that letter about how poorly she'd handled the situation, etc., and that also helped. But I never told her about the hour spent in the bathroom at the hospital after her call and I never will. I did tell my good T about it.
For years afterwards, though, I would have recurring nightmares about crazy T whenever I was under stress. I would bring it up in therapy every time it happened, but mostly got very little response to it. Until several years ago, when my T looked at me and said, "Crazy T represents all the people you've tried to get your needs met with who have let you down." And that finally made sense to me about why I would keep dreaming about her. I haven't had a dream about her since then.
I think Ginny's validation of your pain and Anne's unprofessional-ness is going to help you in the long run. Other than that, I think you're doing the right kinds of things. I would encourage you to write the letter to Anne -- without censoring yourself or trying to sound professional. Get it all out and then just throw it away or pack it away somewhere. Then write the professional letter that you want to send. I'm a big believer in holding people accountable whenever possible. And especially when they've hurt us.
Keep taking care of yourself, okay?
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:707934
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/707955.html