Posted by Dinah on October 30, 2006, at 9:06:14
In reply to I usually trust my T, but lately - I don't know., posted by madeline on October 30, 2006, at 6:34:38
I would agree with Therapy Girl.
In the end go with your gut feelings, but your gut intermediated by as informed a brain as possible.
I'm not sure what I feel about closure. It's fine in the movies where scriptwriters know what it is and how to get it. And it not infrequently works with therapists or those who've had a lot of therapy. Although you've probably heard lots of stories here about attempts for closure with therapists that haven't gone well at all. Sometimes it happens in nature, among those who don't speak the language of therapy. I suspect my father knew he was dying, and he said he loved me and apologized when he hurt me more in the last three months of his life than he had in the entire first forty someodd years of our acquaintance.
But...
Sometimes attempts for closure on one person's part aren't met with similar intentions or expectations on the other person's part. Sometimes there are too many feelings, and anger is the result, or sometimes there is just cruelty.
I don't know your situation with your ex, or why your therapist is urging this. But I would proceed cautiously, and not on trust alone, but on your informed judgement. Informed by your trust in your therapist and his past advice, and your gut feelings, and your knowledge of your ex.
It's not really a sign of lack of trust of your therapist to come to a different conclusion than he comes to with the same facts. Wise and wonderful people often come to different conclusions from the same facts.
poster:Dinah
thread:698958
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/698993.html