Posted by Racer on October 22, 2006, at 18:15:31
In reply to Re: Anxiety and obsessions » Racer, posted by Poet on October 22, 2006, at 17:42:56
I've started a list of questions to ask him about things like how he defines successful treatment, what he does about various side effects, etc. At this point, I suspect some of you have better ideas than I do about what questions might be relevant, so if you'd like to offer suggestions, please do.
So far, it's pretty much just what I've written above: how do you define successful treatment and how do you measure it; how do you deal with side effects A, B, and C; how do you decide when to raise a dose or change a med; how long before you decide a med isn't working? At some point, I should ask him more about his policy about between visit contacts, too, but I'm truly too frightened to do that yet.
When I first stopped going to that hellish agency for therapy, the first therapist I saw asked me to call and leave a message for her every weekend, just checking in, and would call me to find out why I hadn't if I didn't. Even at the time, I recognized that that was a very good thing for her to do -- because it gave me more than permission to call if I needed her, you know? Now, though, when it's "you can call and leave a message if you need to," from my T, I mostly can't make up my mind that I need to. Sometimes I think it would be good to have it assigned to me -- "leave at least one message per week, even if it's just to say you don't need to." But as soon as I think that, I follow it up with the sorts of things that I was told by those other people: "calling just shows that you're too dependent, that you're unwilling to do anything to help yourself; you have to do all this yourself, you know; no one can do it for you."
I have similar fears about starting the medications. The doctor has told me that I "can always contact him via email with concerns about medications or to report side effects," so that they can be addressed right away. The problem is, I know that in the moment, I can't decide that something really counts, that it really will be OK to contact him about it, that it really won't just end up with him being upset with me for bothering him. I wish that someone would suggest scheduled check ins, but I'm afraid if I suggest something like that, they'll say I'm too demanding and need to get over it. I'm also afraid to talk to my T about quite this issue, although we've talked about my issues about calling her between sessions a little.
Dagnabit. I am just not fond of experiencing these sensations attached to these "feelings" -- I'm just not very skilled with feelings, it seems. Not sure I want to get any more experience with them, either -- being in the next time zone from them seems close enough. I'm not even on a first name basis with them, for heaven's sake! Why on earth would they want to spend so much time with me?
OK, I'm going to do some homework while I wait for the projector repairman to show up...
poster:Racer
thread:696648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/696844.html