Posted by Pfinstegg on September 24, 2006, at 23:45:52
In reply to Re: Just saying hello! » Pfinstegg, posted by littleone on September 24, 2006, at 21:15:33
Well, he doesn't really say what he means by "containing", but I always feel- he says it in such a quiet, tender voice- that he means that he will emotionally hold, and thus comfort-the parts of me which are hurting, terrified or distrustful. He says it when those parts are closer to the surface, so that I am more aware of them, It always has a very consoling effect- that the parts which feel lost and alone finally feel that there is someone there for them. Of course, we have to do this considerably more than once!
As far as comforting and befriending my younger parts myself, I do it mostly by keeping them in mind, and trying to be curious about what they are feeling and experiencing. I've learned to ask questions- and sometimes get amazing answers. I also write in a journal almost every day. I do have two sons- one grown and one still at home, and I know I have been a good mother to them- lots of love, hugs and snuggling, playing with them, listening to them and respecting their ideas. I think the world of them both. One is now grown, has a doctorate in physics and a lovely new wife- and still makes a real place in his life for us- in fact, from time to time, he still needs our emotional support. The younger one still needs us full time! I wanted to do the exact opposite of what was done to me- as I know we all do.
Taking good care of them didn't translate at all into taking good care of my own younger selves, until I began analysis. I was trying to keep them out of my consciousness altogether; I was terribly afraid of becoming completely overwhelmed. In fact, I did become quite overwhelmed as all the early feelings became more conscious. I don't know if this is the case for most people, but, for me, it was true that I got worse before I began getting better. I think it takes so much strength and steadfastness on the part of therapists to see someone through this process. And when you think you're only one of the nine or ten people they see every day! Then, too, it takes every bit of energy and strength on our parts.
Sometimes I wonder, "am I going to have to spend so much time connecting and empathizing with my younger parts my whole life? I'm hoping they will become more integrated into me, and that I won't have to, but I don't know.
I love the creative things you do for your younger parts- the special book and the drawings. Those are wonderful ideas.-very worth trying.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:686042
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/688921.html