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Re: Just saying hello! » Pfinstegg

Posted by littleone on September 23, 2006, at 18:16:15

In reply to Just saying hello!, posted by Pfinstegg on September 14, 2006, at 20:16:02

A big hello right back to you Pfinstegg!

It was just lovely to see your name here again. You sound so positive. I'm so glad things are going well for you.

I could be a bit off here, but from what I can tell, you took a break from babble because you were wanting babble to meet certain needs for you and it wasn't doing that. This left you feeling very upset and you left babble so you could work through these need issues with your T. Is that sort of right?

This comes up a lot for me and I get very confused over the whole idea of needs.

On the one hand I believe that these needs are coming up because of all my "stuff" and they aren't reasonable needs. And that it is unreasonable to expect babble to fill these needs. And that I should go to my T and have him fill these needs.

But on the other hand I read about how you should get your needs met by different sources (no one person, including your T, can meet all your needs), it is a good thing to tell people when you have a need and give them the opportunity to meet it. That it is normal and okay to have needs and have them filled by other people. In fact, that is the very reason why we have relationships.

Very conflicting and confusing.

I was just wondering if you had similar thoughts and how you have resolved them.

I know it would be important to talk to your T about what your needs were and how you wanted them filled. But I guess I start getting confused around how you actually do get them filled. I tend to think you should identify the needs then try to find ways to fill them yourself, but then why bother having relationships?

Just wondering what your thoughts were.

 

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