Posted by llrrrpp on September 13, 2006, at 7:19:44
In reply to Taking a dump **trigg**gotta loada crap in my head, posted by llrrrpp on September 12, 2006, at 22:53:47
Muffled,
the thing is, I have *a lot* of fun cracking jokes with T. I really enjoy his sense of humor, and he probably enjoys mine too, because I can joke about crazy people. I could totally hang out with him at a bar, and listen to all kinds of stories about the criminally insane. But he's not my bar buddy, he's my T. I know he knows it. He's very good at what he does. Even if he was a little sleepy for the first 5 minutes of the session.I wonder if the reason he kept going on like this was because he was testing me. To try to get me to say something like "This is upsetting me. Can we talk about something else?"
And I flunked the test. Rather than talk about my feelings (which is one of my big areas to work on) I used every defense mechanism I had- sarcasm, verbal sparring, humor, and eventually, fleeing the scene of the crime...
Crap.
Oh well, there's always next week. Omelette's got a few more hours, you know?
Seriously, this is SOOOO hard sometimes, to sit and watch my session go by like this, knowing that the post-it note is in my pocket. dammit!
Can't write him an email. He wants me to say it OUT LOUD. ugh. double ughs. infinity ughs.
Well, what's the worst that can happen? I mean, he says he's seen it all, and yes. I believe him. really. No need to go on about all that you've seen. But maybe it's been a while since he worked with someone who knows the things on my post-it note, and has been wanting to say them for weeks now.
shoot.
poster:llrrrpp
thread:685453
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/685507.html