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Re: called a hotline *poss trigger* » wishingstar

Posted by Racer on September 10, 2006, at 10:52:45

In reply to Re: called a hotline » muffled, posted by wishingstar on September 9, 2006, at 23:17:38

> > If I were feeling dangerously suicidal, it'd be an easier decision. But it's hard for me to justify going to the hospital (with the possibility that theyd admit me) when I'm not. Laurie says I have to take care of myself and if I'm not functioning, I need to take the next logical step. But isnt the hospital only for people in major immediate crisis? There arent really any other options I havent tried other than that though. But it seems attention-seeking and stupid to go. Although I admit, part of me does want to. But I just dont know.

Ooooohh! You're being awfully hard on yourself there. "attention-seeking and stupid?" That's kinda harsh, don't you think? I also don't agree with either that statement or the one about hospitals ONLY being for immediate crises. I can see a few other reasons, including needing help getting adjusted to meds, that make hospital a not so bad option. Whether or not you give the hospital a try, give yourself a break, wouldja? ;-)

Here's my hotline story. I was sitting in my bathroom, with the telephone and my suicide plan, and decided to call a hotline. No hotlines, as far as I could find out, where I lived, so I called the local "suicide crisis line" which turned out to be the local psych hospital. Not helpful -- "uh... if you want to do that, you need to come here. Do you know the address?" Oh, yeah, great... They did give me the number of another hotline, though, in another city nearby, maybe an hour away from me? I called that line.

And got a guy I used to date.

I didn't recognize him at first. My name is a little distinctive -- how many people do you know named "Racer?" ;-) -- so he must have recognized me, because something was just too weird in his voice. I was freaking out beyond belief, wondering what I was doing wrong on this hotline that this guy was so weird to me, when I put the name together with the voice and the weirdness... (It had been YEARS since I'd thought about this guy. NOT a big part of my memory. I wouldn't have remembered his name, anyway.)

I've called other hotlines when I needed to. Mostly they're good. A few have been worthless. My big problem has always been that I've called them looking for resources as well as someone to talk to right then, and mostly they haven't been very helpful. That's largely, of course, because there aren't many resources around here...

Take care, Wishingstar. I hope things get easier. I also urge you to consider the ER, if only because they might be able to light a fire under a doctor to see you sooner...


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