Posted by wishingstar on September 9, 2006, at 23:17:38
In reply to Re: called a hotline, posted by muffled on September 9, 2006, at 22:55:10
My Ts away message always says go to your nearest emergency room.. like it's that easy! Hah... oh well.
I talked to Laurie yesterday about the hospital. She encouraged it... even if they dont admit me, she said, to at least get some more immediate help somehow.
I'm not an immediate danger to myself. Sort of suicidal, but not to the point I feel scared of myself right now. (I've been there before and its scary). But I also am not functioning barely at all lately. I havent done any work in 5-6 days, am not really interacting with anyone (although I dont have friends anyway really)... I just feel like I'm walking around in a complete daze. Everything feels like its in a fog - like I'm looking in from the outside. Even the other day I had to stand up in front of my social psych grad seminar and debate something and I didnt feel like I could focus in and feel like I was with everyone, no matter how much I tried. I'm just really worthless right now when it comes to functioning at all. I told a friend today who tried to help to never talk to me again because I didnt like something he said. I'm just losing it. This isnt me. I have this weird feeling I cant even describe sometimes lately.. where I just feel like I truly am on the edge of snapping and ending up laughing to myself in a corner. I've never felt that way before. Like I'm just about to really lose it for good. Its scary.
I'm not on any meds. I tried for months to get an appt and just finally got one, but its not until the 22nd.
If I were feeling dangerously suicidal, it'd be an easier decision. But it's hard for me to justify going to the hospital (with the possibility that theyd admit me) when I'm not. Laurie says I have to take care of myself and if I'm not functioning, I need to take the next logical step. But isnt the hospital only for people in major immediate crisis? There arent really any other options I havent tried other than that though. But it seems attention-seeking and stupid to go. Although I admit, part of me does want to. But I just dont know.
poster:wishingstar
thread:684616
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/684626.html