Posted by Racer on September 2, 2006, at 20:48:34
In reply to Re: Whoa -- where did that come from? (Part 1 - l » Racer, posted by Jost on September 1, 2006, at 22:01:59
I just posted this over on Self Esteem, too, or something near enough.
Yeah -- approval or disapproval were things I couldn't influence. Some days, 100% wouldn't have been good enough. I'd have heard that I needed to be in a tougher school, then I'd see that I wasn't good enough. Other days, I could have gotten all the approval I needed for having a passing grade. it was entirely dependent on my mother at that moment.
And other family members have me painted into My Role as the Designated Screw Up Loser. Doesn't matter what I do, I'm still The Loser -- lazy, crazy, hopeless. Having a perfect GPA only gives them the fuel for sighing and saying, "poor thing, she coulda been a contender..." It makes no difference what I actually do -- it'll never be Good Enough, because then I wouldn't fit my role anymore.
Ugh.
Crying again. Time to log off... But I wanted to tell the two who triggered this, and that I'm going to write an email to my T, too, about this...
So, I'm reaching out, which is scary...
poster:Racer
thread:681737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/682458.html