Posted by Daisym on August 30, 2006, at 18:59:59
In reply to Ouch my head hurts, posted by llrrrpp on August 30, 2006, at 16:44:26
I'm sorry about your mom - she's lucky to have you care so much about her. I hope she finds another job soon. And I'm sorry to hear your dad is so ill, that is hard on everyone.
When I think about crying in therapy I think about it as crying *with* my therapist...not "in front of" him. It helps and it allows me to feel his holding and his caring, instead of thinking he is waiting for me to finish so we can move on. Only once have I accused him of "sitting over there watching me, not helping" but I said that because at the time I desperately wanted him to hold me and let me cry on his shoulder. He was hurt, said it sounded so cold. He really is pretty great about being with me at those times, he talks gently and says things like, "you need to cry, those tears have waited a long time to come out in a safe place." He could probably recite the alphabet and I'd still love it...it is his tone and how soothing he sounds.
Anyway -- (blush) I guess I'm sharing all this because you won't know how it really feels unless you give your therapist the opportunity to show you that they can make it safe enough for you to cry and feel what you really feel.
And about dreading going...still -- after 3 years(!) -- and clearly I'm hugely attached to my therapist -- I get nervous and anxious about going. It isn't about facing him - it is the mirror he holds up and the depth of pain we are plumbing. I'm never sure "who" might need to talk, even if I have a well thought out plan or list of things to talk about. Like today-- no way were we going to get around the fact that my 11-year-old was in the room. My therapist finally just asked if he could talk to her directly...
Geez, I didn't mean to make this about me. Sorry. I just wanted to tell you that therapy is REALLY hard so you aren't alone in these issues. I'm glad you found a therapist with a sense of humor. It will really help.
poster:Daisym
thread:681522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/681576.html