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Re: What do you guys think? » antigua

Posted by fallsfall on August 5, 2006, at 10:18:26

In reply to What do you guys think?, posted by antigua on August 4, 2006, at 8:17:59

Oh Antigua, I'm so sorry he made you cry. I think everyone has opinions about hypnosis and whether recovering your memories is a good thing or not. And there is so much old information about how the brain stores trauma, as opposed to other kinds of input. There is a lot to sort through. But the bottom line is that you've decided to go forward with the hypnosis. And I think you've done enough thinking about this that you are doing what is best for you.
At my group the other night we were talking about the holes in our memories. Everyone had a level of frustration about the holes, how did things go from A to B? And while everyone had outside evidence for the memories they do have, like you do, they WANT the details. The reasons are very individual but the common thread was that knowing what happened might help the little girl inside know that it wasn't her fault -- in any way. I struggle with this a lot.
The one think I know for sure is that no matter how much you do or don't remember, the work remains the same. Accepting that it happened, grieving that it happened, being angry that it happened and figuring out how to make a relationship to our own individual histories. It is so much harder than it sounds.
I think about those people who have loved ones who go missing. After a number of years, everyone pretty much accepts that the missing person has died. But things are incomplete. It is hard to mourn the thing that is incomplete. We as humans need closure and for folks like you and me, knowledge is an important part of the closure. How can you process something without going over the details (again and again and again)? It is less about accepting that it HAPPENED than it is about the how, when, where and yes, why.
So I understand the quest for the details. And btw, I think the word "details" is probably "better" than the word memories. I know you absolutely know you were abused. I hope the hypnosis is successful.




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