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Re: What do you guys think? antigua

Posted by Racer on August 4, 2006, at 15:01:03

In reply to What do you guys think?, posted by antigua on August 4, 2006, at 8:17:59

I dunno...

Actually, I do know my own opinion, which is closer to your pdoc's than your T's, so I'm going to tell you my opinion only after a disclaimer: this is my opinion. It doesn't mean anything beyond that. You don't have to think about it -- you don't even have to read it, really. OK, now that's done...

It sounds to me as though there's still some healing to be done, but I don't know that there's a missing piece from your memory, so much as a missing piece from your acceptance. It "feels" to me as though you're trying to find a reason, for something without a reason. It kinda feels to me that looking for that reason keeps the trauma active, while accepting that terrible things can happen for no reason at all -- scary as that is -- can maybe bring along the final healing. Does that make sense?

Mind you, I have some experience with false memories -- not my own, but second hand -- so I tend to be very skeptical. (Which is why I kept my mouth shut on the last thread...) False memories can be devastating, and I would hate to find out that you've got more trauma to dig through because someone wasn't quite careful enough.

I've got a kinda similar situation myself -- not hypnosis, but asking my T to refer me for psychological testing because of an obsession of mine. She refused: she said that it wouldn't stop my obsession, but it might make things worse. She said that I need to learn to accept uncertainty, that getting over the obsession would only happen when I worked through the stuff that led to it in the first place. I know that sounds kinda opposite -- you're trying to find out what led to something, after all -- but I wonder if it's possible that you DO already remember it all, but can't quite accept that what you remember is "enough" to cause you this trauma? Does that make sense?

Whatever you decide to do, though, I hope it works out well for you.


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