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Re: upset sunnydays

Posted by Estella on August 3, 2006, at 12:11:29

In reply to Re: upset Estella, posted by sunnydays on August 2, 2006, at 20:20:50

> I have a serious problem with expressing anger

Yeah, me too.

(That is why I talked about 'appropriate' ways of expressing it. Sometimes... We need to learn 'appropriate' ways of expressing and 'appropriate' circumstances of expression in order for us to express...)

I have been reading about the strategic role of emotions. Sometimes... Expressing emotion isn't so much about how you feel... It can be about expressing what is 'appropriate' given the circumstances.

For example... You interpreted him as not taking your comment seriously, but it was something that you took seriously at the time of expression.

Rationally... From the way you interpreted... It would be 'normal' or 'understandable' or 'reasonable' even for you to feel a little cross...

Hence... If you say something along the lines of 'when you said x I felt a little cross' is appropriate. It is a way of cueing people in so that you aren't a person who will let people take advantage of them... Or something. Dunno... Still working this out.

> But I think it is very interesting to think that anger would have been an appropriate response.

Yes, I think annoyance would have been. You can think of a hierarchy of intensity...
There are probably more... I think sometimes it is about expressing annoyance / irritation before it builds to anger or outright rage. I tend to repress annoyance / irritation and then it builds... To something beyond rage and I go kaboom. And / or... I feel suicidal along the way for feeling such 'bad' feelings. If we have only seen people explode... Then it can be harder to know how to express the milder forms of the emotions before they become very intense indeed and kaboom is iminant... Hard...




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