Posted by All Done on June 24, 2006, at 3:43:36
My T had to cancel my session for tomorrow. I saw him on Wednesday and we rescheduled tomorrow's session for next Wednesday. So, it's a week between seeing him. Sometimes, that's my regular schedule anyway.
But...
Wednesday he was so wonderful. I told him about a dream and part of it was me being ashamed of him seeing me disheveled and like I just rolled out of bed. A basic mess. It led to a discussion about my self-image, and I called myself ugly and told him I think others find me difficult to look at. All of this stuff is so difficult. I couldn't even post to Daisy's thread (earlier this month?) because it is so hard to talk about. He was sensitive and never flinched, like I assumed he or anyone would. I asked him how to make it (my feelings, I guess) better. He said, "talk". I feel like I can with him.
We also talked about my comfort and me trying to make his office a more comfortable place for me than it already is.
It's all hard to explain, but his responses, reactions, comments, and questions were all just "right".
Toward the end of the session, I started feeling an intense reaction to not having a session on Saturday. I felt like I feel when I'm missing him outside of his office. I told him about five times that I didn't want him not to be there on Saturday. I felt like such a little kid throwing a tantrum. I never tell him I don't want him to not be there when he schedules a day off. I might complain afterwards, but I don't want to make him feel bad beforehand.
Anyway, on the way out, he told me to try to have a good day on Saturday and he'll be thinking about me.
I imagine I'll be thinking about him, too.
I don't want him to be gone.
Sorry for crying on all of your shoulders. It's just so hard. My stomach is in knots and there's a lump in my throat.
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:660865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060623/msgs/660865.html