Posted by ElaineM on June 21, 2006, at 19:56:01
In reply to Re: I give up! ******S.I. TRIGGER*******, posted by annierose on June 21, 2006, at 17:15:23
Annierose: I wish I had someone with me when I was talking to the guy at the center. I'm pretty afraid of people even on my best days. If I wasn't sooo upset I'd never have even gone into that place. I just can't speak for myself properly when I'm like that.
I'm embarassed to say but my first instinct (after the bathroom thing) was to go straight to his office. Which doesn't make sense considering what I was trying to do today. I don't make sense. I'm sorry but I do miss him. It's dumb, I can't help it. I mean, I still don't want to do all that other stuff, but I'm used to him being there for me. With my next session on Friday, that will have been three days between meetings! That's one of the longest breaks I've had in a long time. And I can't stand being by myself when I'm so sad. I do care for him still. I don't like not caring for anybody. It makes me feel terrible.
I'm so sad and frustrated by today. I feel like I'm made of lead. And I'm really mad and disgusted for what I did to myself after. I just really want to forget today. I hate myself alot right now. Thank you for saying you care.
El
poster:ElaineM
thread:659807
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/659903.html