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Re: Thank heavens for Risperdal MidnightBlue

Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2006, at 21:58:23

In reply to Re: Thank heavens for Risperdal Dinah, posted by MidnightBlue on June 16, 2006, at 21:04:47

Maybe it's just what I need to believe. But I don't think he flat out lies. He may like by avoiding or omitting, but I don't think he'd tell an untruth.

I may be absolutely furious with him, and angry at how I let him hurt me over and over and over again in a way I haven't let anyone hurt me except my mother before I emotionally divorced her. And I might wish I could emotionally divorce him. But I have to confess that I have a hard time thinking of him as an intentionally bad man. A flawed man, certainly. A man who hurts me, yes. A man who is either dense or intentionally blind, yes.

Sigh. I wish I really could hate him. Or at least protect myself from him.

I wonder if I saw the potential for him to hurt me when I made him into my therapist/mommy? If I had some weird compulsion to recreate being hurt by my real mother. No, maybe not. He's flawed in different ways. I probably chose him as my therapist mommy because he was so different than my mother or father or husband. I just didn't realize that that brand of fantasy came with its own pain.




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