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Re: Who would you be without your psychopathology? » Racer

Posted by fairywings on March 18, 2006, at 16:03:32

In reply to Re: Who would you be without your psychopathology?, posted by Racer on March 18, 2006, at 15:19:34

>>Part of me wants to give it up, because even though it's how I identify myself, I still don't want other people to know. (Isn't that telling?)

**I don't know about anyone else, but I tend to hide a lot of my true self from others - the parts I find weak or unacceptable. Isn't that pretty normal? I don't know.

>>But even though there are those parts that want to be done with it, there is also a big part of me that needs to hold on to it, and part of that is that I'm afraid of who I might be without it. I don't know who that is. I don't know who I would be without this piece of me.

**Is that all a part of the ability to be in control? And if you gave that up, who would be in control, or would you just have to find control in another way, or be okay w/o being in control?

>
> And the anorexic part of me is so caught up in that whole Calvinistic belief system I grew up with -- I'll be revealed as a sluglike, miserable, useless, failure of a nothing.

**Ooo, never thought about this too much - the Calvanistic views - that's so harsh to actually read it! I think I am all the things you fear you'll be revealed to be, but I don't know why I think that way.

> Man -- that was hard to write. Guess I hit a nerve there.

**Yeah, I bet it was! Ouch!!!


> Anyway, if you did get rid of all that baggage, all the headaches, fears, stresses, anxieties -- who would you be, on your fairy wings?

**I guess someone I like better - stronger, nicer, smarter, more accomplished. Someone else, I guess?
fw


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