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Re: tranference or real feelings?

Posted by wishingstar on March 12, 2006, at 22:26:12

In reply to Re: tranference or real feelings?, posted by pegasus on March 12, 2006, at 15:33:54

I cant even tell you how much better the responses I've gotten have made me feel.. just because now I know I'm not crazy and that maybe I actually am right (or the feelings deserve to be acknowledged, if nothing else). Reading what you, and everyone else, has written really tugs on my heart because you're so right. It is very painful that she isnt addressing it.. whether its "real" or not.

I think you're right that she probably thinks shes communicating better than she is. It's probably partly my fault - I come across (especially in therapy) as very competent, together, etc, and I cant let go of that facade, even though I can verbally tell her its a mask. So maybe she thinks that I just know? I dont know.

When I mention responses I think would help me from her, shes always thanks me for telling her and seems to take note. I think shes probably forgetting sometimes. I know she also seems to believe that I'm getting closer to where I need to be, and even though I've told her I disagree, she still seems to believe it. I think she just doesnt get that this isnt working so maybe shes sort of blinded by that? I dont know. They arent explicit like "use these exact words".. more like "ive noticed that I use these three words all the time because they keep things intellectual, but if you use these specific words (hurt or sad rather than upset, for instance) it kicks in the emotions more." Things like that.

I thought about showing her the post.. but I dont know. What would make her get it now any more than the other times I've told her? I'm past the point of being upset every time it happens.. I guess I've come to expect it recently. I just keep hoping that one day it'll change. But the responses from you all is giving me a little motivation to talk to her about it again this tues. We'll see.




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