Posted by James K on February 11, 2006, at 13:22:06
In reply to Terminally self-conscious?, posted by Racer on February 10, 2006, at 18:54:58
This is going to go way all over the place, but I'm going to try and keep it back on point. What you are describing was the first half of my life. I don't think it is a disorder, not everything has to have a name to be gotten over IMHO.
Now I'm getting into territory that only some will be able to follow. Alcohol in combination with working and hanging with a diverse group of people who accepted me for who I am cured that part of me. They really did work together not just one or the other. Other problems continued or developed, but I don't walk around feeling like that anymore. If I ever want to remember what I felt like as a child and young man, all I have to do is smoke some marijuana. Alcohol = confidence, relaxation, Pot = self awareness to unpleasant extreme. So when people talk about self medicating I know what they mean. Makes it hard to quit or demonize too.
What could this mean to you? NOT start drinking regularly (I don't remember your history anyway). what I mean is I was shy and self conscious to a degree that a doctor might have diagnosed and medicated and messed me up earlier even more. I just had to feel right once in a while, have peer support, relax, have fun. It sounds like somehow you've lost that, since you had it before. Maybe it has to be practised. I lose the ability when I isolate too much. Again, I can't remember your circumstance.
So this is in no way an argument for substance abuse. I'm not sure what I am saying except that constant feeling can be erased without it being an uncureable flaw. Whatever is wrong with me these days, fear or over self conscious rarely raise their ugly heads.