Posted by fallsfall on January 24, 2006, at 7:31:21
In reply to I still miss her, posted by crushedout on January 24, 2006, at 1:01:33
(((Crushed)))
I'm sorry that your heart aches.
I know that it seems futile to talk about it in therapy. Perhaps you can talk about how futile it seems.
In my therapy we are talking again about the friend who I was in love with (obsessively) 11 years ago (this was before I went into therapy). I haven't seen her in probably 8 years now. I now remember her as a sweet, wonderful person who I had an unhealthy relationship with. The pain has lessened. We focus on what it was that I was looking for at the time. In some ways it seems clinical. So, at least for me, the obesession has faded over time.
As for my old therapist, I was never in "love" with her. Just incredibly dependent. I still want to (2 1/2 years later) have a session with her and tell her what I've learned, and maybe find out what her side of the story is. I alternate between wanting to explain to her all the things that she did wrong and wanting to tell her how well I'm doing so she will be proud of me. But mostly, I'm grateful that my current therapist is able to help me more than she was.
I know your pain, and the feeling of futility. These people were very important to us. It is right that they should remain "with" us. Over time, hopefully, we can see them more realistically. And hopefully, over time, it will be less painful.
poster:fallsfall
thread:602296
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/602321.html