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Re: Just crying my eyes out

Posted by joslynn on January 20, 2006, at 15:43:46

In reply to Just crying my eyes out, posted by happyflower on January 20, 2006, at 4:40:52

I went thru something similar with a male T-type person. It's a grieving process. It really is like a death, especially when you feel the mutual physical and mental attraction in the room. (Let's face it, a woman knows.) But maybe it is like a little bubble or butterfly that is precious in that one hour, but cannot last in the air of reality.

For me, when I had it painfully ripped from me, it hurt, but then, my heart was open, and no sooner than a month later, a shy guy I had always liked asked me out on a date.

Did he someone know on some level that now my heart was open, since I was no longer comparing men to the transference? Or was it a coincidence?

I believe you are already married, or perhaps that is someone else? So the sitch isn't quite the same.

But for me, when I let go of it (kicking and screaming first) I was suddenly given the gift of someone available, emotionally and circumstantially.

But first, you have to grieve. And some people need to not see the person to do that, others don't.

For me now, life without transference, without that high from the sessions and then the aching afterwards, is sweet relief. I am glad it is all gone. I know some people learn a lot from it, but for me, I am glad I said goodbye to it. Because then I was open to new things.

"Sometimes you have to feel a goodbye," as Holden Caulfield said. (Oh dear, should I be quoting Catcher in the Rye on a mental health boards?)

Take care of yourself during this time.




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