Posted by daisym on December 27, 2005, at 16:50:05
In reply to I really do know nothing is magic or easy., posted by All Done on December 27, 2005, at 14:07:45
I wish I knew the answer. I've been working on this forever it feels like. A couple of things helped me...check in phone calls, journaling and having something of his to hold. I don't call much anymore but knowing I still can is really helpful. I write a lot when I'm feeling sad and lonely, trying to sort out why. And I pull away, and then freak out because it feels worse without the attachment.
How much have you read about Self-psychology? When I started to understand that I needed my therapist for stability as I let go of old constructs and started building new ones, the intensity of my attachment actually made more sense to me. After all, I am trying to redefine myself and strengthen my core -- my heart of hearts. When he isn't around for a period of time, I begin to doubt this new structure and I fight against all the parts of me that are alive and speaking out. Mostly I'm afraid of feeling my feelings when I'm not with him to make it safe.
I don't know if any of this rings true for you...but there is a good reason your attachment is so intense. You just don't know what it is yet. What is your therapist saying about it all? Does he have any thoughts about how you could reduce your suffering between sessions?
I wish I could find just the right thing to say. I know it hurts.
(((alldone)))
poster:daisym
thread:592469
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/592540.html