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Re: I really do know nothing is magic or easy. sleepygirl

Posted by All Done on December 29, 2005, at 1:42:52

In reply to Re: I really do know nothing is magic or easy., posted by sleepygirl on December 27, 2005, at 14:35:25

> Uh...yeah, it is really hard. I don't think I have any answers for you, but some questions come to mind based on my experiences. They are just thoughts. They may or may not relate to you, but here goes....
> Are you able to relate it to experiences in your life with people important to you?
> When I've been able to relate my strong attachment to these experiences of disappointment or abandonment it's given me some relief, or made the feelings easier to tolerate.

I really have a difficult time with this. Rationally, I know my feelings toward my T actually have very little to do with him, but I get stuck in the here and now and I can't seem to figure out what it's really about.

> Do you have other important relationships in your life?
> When I've been able to invest my energy in relationships with different people, I know that other important people continue to exist for me.

I do have other important relationships - my son, my husband, some close friends and family. I feel guilty about not having focused my attention on them, but at the moment, it seems near impossible. Well, maybe except with my son. He gets all of me more often than not.

> What's important to you in your life? What are you passionate about?
> This gave me another focus, something else I needed.

I can get passionate about some things, but, unfortunately, I work full-time in a career that I'm not passionate about. So, for at least eight hours a day, it's pretty easy to distract me. I guess I wish I could just focus on something else, but when I try and don't succeed, I feel guilty. (Sorry, I think I sound so stubborn.)

> I absolutely cannot say that I would be comfortable giving up my relationship with my T, but over time it has gotten less intense. I guess it has waxed and waned over time, and depending on the stress levels I've been able to handle. My T has been one constant, and I guess it's been some serious practice, leaving, dealing with the world, coming back, and knowing he's still there.

I'm truly glad to hear it's grown less intense for you. It gives me some hope.

> I do really feel for you. It is difficult. I hope you talk to him about this.

Thanks for your post, sleepygirl. You've given me a lot to think about. One thing I can promise, though...I will talk to him about this. I feel fairly certain if I didn't, I would only feel worse.

Take care,




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