Posted by gardenergirl on December 2, 2005, at 10:12:43
In reply to Reframing and helping » All Done, posted by daisym on December 1, 2005, at 11:18:05
> Let's declare ourselves a tag team!!
Works for me!
>
> GG -- how are things going with therapy at only 1x per week?Well, at first I hated it. I sobbed horribly after I left the first time, knowing I would not be back for a week. I felt like I had been sent away without any supper, since it had not been a particularly good session, anyway. It was too problem-solving focused, when I was still looking for empathy and validation for what I was going through (the anniversary fiasco).
Although on Monday, I went to therapy realizing that I had not thought about therapy at all, except for one very brief moment when my cousin and I were talking about her counselor, whom she really likes. I told my T this, and also that I was starting to feel a bit like maybe just living life was a "healthier" thing for me to be doing now versus intenstive introspection and (please pardon the term) "navel-gazing". He pretty much agreed with me that perhaps I'm moving into a period where it's time to move on (eek!). Of course, my happiness that day was pretty situational, since I had just returned from some pretty amazing experiences with my family.
And then I found out that my uncle died suddenly, actually while packing up to return home after coming up for my sister's wedding. It was very tragic, traumatic for those there, and shocking. I wanted to call my T to tell him, although not so much to talk about it...just to tell him. I'm not quite sure what that means. At any rate, I'm a bit down about that, as is my family. At least we were all together and openly expressing our love before we lost him.
>Did anything over Thanksgiving or at the wedding need to be talked about in therapy?
Besides what I wrote above, I also had an amazing experience with my dad. Somewhere along the line, he grew an emotion bone. He actually cried more than once, as he was feeling the effects of seeing some people he hasn't seen in a long time, (one was my late uncle, who used to be a very good friend), and feeling his mortality, wondering if he would ever see these folks again. We spent some quality time together talking and sharing pictures and stories. At the end of the night (3:30 am.!), he thanked me for being there for him, and then told me he loved me, spontaneously and with a great deal of feeling. Wow! What a gift. He's always been very closed, which has been a source of pain for me.
> Did your therapists have any ideas about the Uncle who hugs inappropriately?
My T basically told me that I have to be "in charge" of the moment. And acutally it worked out very well. He was seated at a table when I went around kissing folks hello and taking a moment to talk to them (oh, the duties of the maid of honor). By the time I got to him, I was being called up to the head table. I kissed him on the cheek, and when he went to stand up for a hug, I just sort of pushed him back down in his chair (subtly, of course!) and said I had to run. :-D I never really saw him the rest of the night. Yea me!
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> (See - it is all in how you ask the questions, Laurie)Yep. I spent a lot of time talking in therapy about how blessed and moved I had been feeling to be part of such a large, loving, (and loud!) family. It was lovely chaos, and I felt a bit like I needed to recover from it all. We talked about how I need to learn to modulate my emotional responses a bit in order not to feel so drained after times like this.
So...I'm doing okay. Sleep is a good restorative, right Dinah?
Thanks for asking, Lala and Daisy. Sorry I haven't been around much. I'll try to drop in when I can between now and when I get caught up with some work stuff.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:584174
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584496.html