Posted by daisym on November 12, 2005, at 18:07:39
In reply to Do your T's eyes smile at you?, posted by happyflower on November 12, 2005, at 16:12:45
I agree with you, you can tell what some people are feeling in their eyes. Which is why I'm always surprised when people say they don't look at their therapists. I scan constantly for flinching or signs of anger. I'm touched and frightened when I see his eyes fill with tears. And I love when he smiles all the way up into them. Here is a funny story -- the first year my therapist left on vacation he gave me a picture of himself, tucked into his talisman pouch. I noticed in this picture he had glasses on. I swear I couldn't remember that he had glasses! He has wireless rims and all that, but still. You'd think after a year I'd know for sure he wore glasses. I just was so intent at looking at his eyes that the glasses didn't register. He still teases me about that.
And I have to add, while the eyes are extremely important, the voice is at least equally so. So much is conveyed by the tone, volume and inflections -- even just the little noises of sympathy or laughter -- I think that is why I keep so many of his voice mail messages and listen to them over and over. Maybe that is why my therapist is so good on the phone; I can read his voice and find so much comfort there. It isn't just knowing what to say, it is knowing HOW to say it. :)
poster:daisym
thread:578067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578086.html