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Re: i don't know anything anymore... » fallsfall

Posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2005, at 18:10:16

In reply to Re: i don't know anything anymore... » alexandra_k, posted by fallsfall on October 29, 2005, at 8:29:51

Hey Falls. I'm sorry about my last response. I'd take it back if I could, but I can't so I'll just respond again, okay?

That was a really lovely post. Really. Sometimes I just find it so very hard to see the good. The things that are okay. The things that are going right. Last night... I went to someones place and got really very stoned... And then I was walking home. Summer is just starting. Well... Not quite. Spring really. But it was a beautiful day and I was walking home at dusk. I cut through campus and part of the route is walking past a couple of lakes. And... It was really beautiful. There are lots of birds around the bush by the lakes and it was really warm and I looked around and thought... That right now things are okay. Its not so bad. My life isn't so bad. Not at all. I've had far worse environments to be living in (with respect to cold dark houses etc). And... This is a pretty country. And I'm okay.

And I think... I've snapped out of this a bit. It frightens me how fast I go downhill. And I can't believe how intense and how deep my despair can be sometimes... But the thing is... It lifts about as fast as it sets in.

I wish it didn't happen.
I'm sorry...
I get so very selfish and self-absorbed when I'm in one of those states.

But yeah...
I am getting better...
All the time.
And I think...
Its people believing in me from babble that is helping.
And it does mean a great deal to me...
It is just that I forget that sometimes.
I'm sorry.

You take care.
I hope you have a wonderful day.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:563562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/573871.html