Posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2005, at 8:41:08
In reply to abusers, posted by lostforwards on October 1, 2005, at 11:42:41
> Are abusers aware of the abuse they inflict on others? Is it possible for an abuser to be completely unaware of what they're doing to others in their life?
I think... That different people probably have different motives / reasons / rationalisations.
I think that a few really have no idea. Classic case of people who molest children and believe that that is an expression of love. They really do not seem to realise the harm they are doing.
Some probably feel that they are the victim. They have been victimised (by society or whatever) and so they believe they are justified in retaliation.
Some seem to lack empathy.
It is hard...
But I think these people need help.
I'm grateful that some people try to work with them.
But there aren't enough people doing that...
There aren't enough.I used to help out sometimes at this place. It was for kids aged 7-15. Kids who had been kicked out of the schools in the region. The program got government funding to run educational programs because kids that age need to be in school... Most of them had severe substance abuse problems. Some of them already had a history of assulting / sexually abusing others.
Some of them did not realise the harm they were doing.
They used to run group therapy with them.
They could hear how those behaviours affected their friends (including the girls) who were there. Most of them really had no idea...And some of them... Just didn't seem to be able to feel empathy. When they could get away with kicking the crap out of someone, or abusing or taking advantage of them in some way then they would. But the converse of that is that they also seemed to have a similar lack of regard for themselves and their own wellbeing. They might go out and pick fights and get the crap kicked out of them and they would just kind of brush that off.
It is like they really believed...
That life was about the survival of the fittest.
And they weren't really under any illusions that they were the fittest or anything like that...
But that was pretty much how their ethical system worked.
That one was justified in screwing people over any way you could.
And one had no right to complain if someone else screwed you over.I guess most of those kids...
End up properly in prison once they come of age.
But the point...
Is in trying to reach them before that.Some success...
With puppies.
Or something living.
If you can just get them to care about the welfare of something....
Get them looking after it...
Then try to generalise from thereBut its hard work.
I'm glad some people do it
I'm glad some people can do it.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:561587
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/561868.html