Posted by LauraBeane on August 27, 2005, at 9:45:06
In reply to Update, posted by Dinah on August 26, 2005, at 16:56:44
> He came to session today prepared to listen. He allowed me to take the lead and bring up a different topic, but he turned it back into the struggle I've been having with our relationship.
It sounds like he is paying attention on several levels -- allowing you to direct the session but also not letting the issue go.
> He was a bit disingenuous trying to say that he wasn't saying that he wouldn't help me in my goals, while simulataneously saying that no therapist wants to help a client move backward and that I might not be being open in considering the benefits of other goals.
Right, well I'm sure you expected that -- he is dedicated first and foremost to being supportive of you. That's at the core. But he can't tell you he supports your reclaiming a goal he feels is not in your best interest in the long run. Not if he's honest, anyway.
> I retained my stance that he didn't need to help, and I understood that our goals were different, but that I didn't want to fight with him over it, and I'd handle it myself.
You're not the boss of me! Stated in a supremely reasonable, iron-clad voice. :-)
> It was a good session overall. We didn't come to any sort of agreement, but he did listen to me and respect the depth of my feelings for the first time. And maybe that's enough.
I think getting him to acknowledge and respect the depth of your feelings is huge.
> And he didn't make it icky or appear to be uncomfortable at the prospect of being the object of adoration. :)It seems like being supportive of you is his highest priority. He will give you what you need. He must really trust you.
> He's a pretty good guy, and a decent therapist when he's paying attention.Too funny.
> He did however schedule people into the only two time slots we ever use on Friday. If he had filled one or the other I wouldn't have felt hurt, but he filled both. So I formally requested appointments at 9 am Fridays through next May, and gave him the two dates I would need a different time slot. He didn't reply.
Do you think it might be his way of saying, okay, but I'm the boss of me, too?
Anyway, I'm really glad you were able to relax the knot, even if it hasn't been untangled completely.
L.
poster:LauraBeane
thread:546998
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050824/msgs/547196.html