Posted by bird in the sky on August 23, 2005, at 18:42:42
In reply to Re: bird in the sky, posted by jadah on August 16, 2005, at 17:46:35
It's so hard to leave. It's so hard to know it will be a week or 2 or 3 before seeing him again. It's so hard to think that my loved ones think i should be "wrapping this up" and ending my therapy. It's so hard to face the fact how dependant i have become. I feel like my thrapist and i are hardly seperate, yet have to be, except for that one hour. i feel when we are apart he is here with me in my breath, coming inside me like the lover i know he will never be. it seems as if i could put my chest against his he would understand. Our breath and hearts could be closer in reality like i actually feel them to be. When i leave and he shuts the door it feels as if i am disolving, and well i should. So that i could become the air that he breathes, going into every cell of his body as he has in mine. It takes days to bring myself back together more into reality, more able to spend more of each waking hour not fantasizing or just feeling these strong feelings. Feelings i call Love. I wish there was another word. I do realize our hearts are seperate and our breath is not the same, i'm not crazy! But that's not how it feels...
poster:bird in the sky