Posted by pinkeye on August 2, 2005, at 14:11:36
In reply to Re: Lott: My T never taught me self esteem., posted by rabble_rouser on August 2, 2005, at 13:31:24
For me, achieving self esteem/self acceptance/unconditional self approval/ everything was kind of pretty hard to achieve by myself.
I always ended up asking myself, how can I accept myself unconditionally, when knowingly I commit mistakes? How can I tell myself, I am a great person, I am a worthy person, and I deserve the very best etc, when I know I am not a great person, and I don't always behave at my best. How can I demand that my husband love me unconditionally, when I know I don't love anyone unconditionally? It all seemed a little hard to achieve realistically.
The easier thing for me to achieve was to somehow get it all levelled out and kind of linked to God. I started thinking, all of us are God's children and HE is supposed to love all of us unconditionally. And HE treats all of us as equal. So for me all this issue of Self Esteem/Self Acceptance/Self approval finally boiled down to "I am just as good or as worse as HIS any other children. If other people can feel good about themselves, then so can I. If other people can demand the best for themselves, then so can I. If other people can be happy irrespective of their mistakes, then so can I. IF all these murderes/rapists/corrupt people/good for nothing persons can be happy and can have pride in themselves, then so can I. And God loves all of them also, so why won't HE love me? And if HE can love me, so can I love myself. If HE approves of everyone, then HE would definitely approve of me, and I can also approve myself. Finally it all boiled down to I am equal to everyone and just as ordinary or as special - just as love-able or as un-love-able."
poster:pinkeye
thread:536500
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/536731.html