Posted by happyflower on June 26, 2005, at 21:46:41
In reply to Re: Why did you ask?? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 26, 2005, at 21:18:53
> It is my turn to ask you a question
It's okay, ask me anyting! :)- So how did you move on from your mother's abuse?
Well I physically moved on when my mom put a gun to my brothers head 2 days after my dad died ( xmas day) . Learning this and that my brother seizure problem was due to severe child abuse to the head. I suspect there may have been SA with him too. Learning all of this one day when I took my brother to a nurosergeon, and he totally broke down when the doctor told him that his brain damage was due to child abuse or a very bad car accident, and not a doctors mistake when he was born which is what me and the whole family was told by my mom.
Well this triggered me big time, brought back all kind of memories. I was scared for my safty and my families safety, this was about 5 years ago. I never had a close relationship with either parent, ever. Even growing up , I wasn't loved, or cared about. So there was no bond to break.
Now emotionally, it is somedays really hard, but EMDR has helped me so much to put it behind me. I don't have those flashbacks anymore. Do you remember a couple of months ago about my story of her threatening me as a security guard at the mall? I was scared of her abducting my kids. Well this is what started the PTSD, and brought me to therapy in Jan.Can you teach me how to move on? I have always been very bad in making peace and moving on. How do you move on when you break up?
I think it works differently for all people. I just said enough was enough. I did it for my kids, and my husband. I had to put it behind me for my own sanity, and for me to be a good mom and wife. I think in your case, you have an emotional attachment to your ex T, I didn't have an attachtment at all to my mom. She was never a mom like most people know it. She was cruel with her emotional abuse, physical abuse, and of cource neglect. I was never loved by her, my dad told me he loved me 2 times in my life. It is a long story, and I don't know how much you want to know. I am open to all of it, I am comfortable talking about it.
All through my life growing up I knew there was something not right with my family. Lucky I had some wonderful teachers and friends parents who supported me. They didn't know of the abuse though. I read a lot of books on morals and how to be a parent. I watched Cosby Show, and other moral tv. shows. I was scared that I would repeat the cycle. But the good thing is that I did stop it. For once in my life I know what it is to be a part of a loving family.
I don't know how to teach you to move on. I guess one day, you will just get sick of your sad feelings, and just say enough is enough. You will say I deserve better than what was given to me. I want better for myself . I wish I could help you more. I guess I anwered more than you asked. lol I am a chatter box lately! lol
poster:happyflower
thread:519511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/519577.html