Posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2005, at 0:58:55
In reply to Re: Approximate relationships » Tamar, posted by alexandra_k on May 25, 2005, at 23:32:22
> I worry about that sense of 'feeling loved'. One feels loved because of the nature of the therapy relationship. They are supposed to focus on you for that time. Emotionally hold you etc. But RL isn't like that... It is more reciprocal. I worry that therapy teaches us the wrong messages about the nature of love and caring and about the nature of human relationships.
I think that therapy CAN teach us the wrong messages. Or perhaps "teach" is the wrong word. I think we can get the wrong messages from therapy if we don't finish it or don't talk about our feelings (or lack of them) about the relationship. Because we form conclusions about them, and we project stuff onto the T, and if we do not get a chance to reality-check our perceptions and feelings, we may hold the wrong message==like the "T is rescuing me" or something. When really it came from within us and from the process.
>
> I worry that it fosters desires along the lines of the golden fantasy. That once those desires are fostered all you have done is made that person dependent on therapy relationships to get those desires met.When therapy is done right, the person learns that they wish the T to fulfill this fantasy, but the T does not and can not. In fact, no one can. No one but ourselves to ourselves. Now if therapy is not done well, or the T has needs of his/her own that enter into the therapy, then the T might try very hard to fulfill this fantasy, and this is doing a disservice.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:491935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/505079.html